Happy Thanksgiving! Have a great day with family and friends.

The weather this week has been absolutely beautiful. You can't beat 70 degree weather in November. Today was a little cooler at 61 and breezy, but still sunny and just lovely. I took a short walk enjoying it all while I can. It will be in the 30's before I know it.

Sunday was my niece Abby's 11th birthday. We had a nice family get together at my sisters. We grilled out, had cake and ice cream and played Corn Hole and Goofy Golf. Not surprisingly my partner and I lost every game of Corn Hole. I never said I was good! =P I got Abby a bunch of craft stuff and she absolutely loved it. As soon as she opened my gift she looked at my sister and said, "now I can scrapbook and craft with you mom!" The M&M socks were a big hit too.

Later that night we had a bonfire and all sat around talking. I love doing that. A cool chill in the air, a nice fire and good conversation. It was a great day. My uncle Lonnie came over to the house after we left. Me, him and dad played Mexican Domino's and Hearts. I was the big winner in Mexican Domino's, but I'm not nearly as good at cards. We hadn't played in forever though and I had so much fun.

When did it become such a bad thing to give your opinion? Obviously there will be times it differs from others, but we all have the right to our opinions and to voice them.

So I was sitting at the dining room table today visiting with my older sister and two nieces. We'd been talking and all that and I saw part of this ticket stub by her purse. I picked it up and asked her what the ticket was from and she said she had no idea that it wasn't hers. So I pointed out that it had been sitting beside her purse. Again, she said it wasn't hers. Then it hit me. OMG...it was my ticket for 30 Seconds to Mars concert in December. It had to be. I frantically started searching the pile of mail my dad had just said was garbage and I could throw away. Sure enough there they were all ripped up. I told my dad what they were and he said he didn't know, that he thought they were junk mail. My heart sank to my stomach as I tried to piece together the bits, but one piece was missing. I just couldn't believe it. I think I was in such shock that I couldn't cry. Instead I laughed. This shit only happens to me.

What makes this all even stranger is that I've gotten the mail for at least the last three or four days and nothing has come for me except ad campaign fliers for the election. I went back through all the "junk" mail and could find no envelope that the tickets could have possibly come in. None. What's even weirder is that I just cleaned the dining room table off yesterday and there was nothing on it for me. How odd is that? It's like the tickets just magically appeared out of nowhere.

Anyway, I called TicketMaster and they told me they can't reprint and send, so I have to take my order number, credit card and photo ID to pick them up at the Will call booth the day of the concert. I'm not happy about that. I know I should just be thankful I didn't have to buy again or some shit, but blah. FML.

Last Saturday we had the annual bonfire/pumpkin fest at my sisters. It was a beautiful day, but so cold. We arrived around 3:30 and slowly people were trickling in. This year my sister invited some people from church and some friends. In all there were over 50 people there. A big difference from the crowd of about 22 we had last year. It was huge! I didn't even know some of them. lol But we had fun. I saw some people I hadn't seen in years, so it was nice to catch up. Around five we started working on our pumpkins. I decided to go with an easier design this year. I didn't want to be sitting there for two and half hours or more working on the thing. As it turns out it took me well over an hour even for a simpler one. I was happy with how it turned out and liked it.

We ate around seven and everyone was finishing up their pumpkins and just visiting and such. Around nine we had the official judging of the pumpkins. My dad, uncle Lonnie and brother in law Bob were the judges. There ended up being a four way tie for first place, so those four pumpkins were sat together and they voted again. This time there was a two way tie. haha So those two won first place and got prizes. Hopefully my sister will have pictures of everything online so I can share them. I didn't place at all this year with my pumpkin, but that's okay. There's always next year! ;)

Here's the pumpkin I made

( trick or treat )

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! HAVE A SPOOKTACULAR DAY! MAY YOU HAVE MORE TREATS THAN TRICKS!

Have ticket for the December 30 Seconds to Mars show!! Woohoo!!

Short blurb and pictures from the 'Kings and Queens' video shoot.

Jared Leto Matches Bike to Outfit

I believe- That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe- That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe- That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe- That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
( into the night, desperate and broken )

Yesterday I went over to my cousins. It was me, her, her mom and our friend Faye. We made homemade pizzas. I don't think I've done that since I was little. Yeah, we made a mess, but had lots of fun. Faye kept trying to add my mushrooms to my pizza because she knows I hate them. lol So I tried to return the favor by putting peppers on hers because she hates them. hehe After the pizzas were all done we watched a couple movies. The first we watched was 'Walk The Line'. If you haven't seen this one I'd highly recommend you check it out. Even if you're not a Johnny Cash/country music fan. A great movie and Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon are amazing in it. The second movie we watched was 'Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason'. I love, love, love Bridget Jones's Diary, but I was disappointed by the second movie. I've read the books and frankly the second movie just didn't live up to my expectations at all. I thought it was slow moving and kinda boring with a few good laughs sprinkled in here and there. Bummer.

Today well, it didn't start off so well. I went up to the post office to talk to them about how they've been delivering packages. They've been sitting them in the yard. The yard! Where anyone could take them or they could get rained on. What the hell? The last one was sat by my front car bumper. How lazy is the postal worker when it would have taken them maybe three more steps to get to the porch and leave it there?!! What pisses me off even more is it was my dads new blood sugar meter. What if it would have rained and soaked the box? I mean really, if you're too lazy to put a package on the porch, then put a slip in the mail box saying we have mail to collect at the post office. I told this to the worker I was talking with and he was a complete jerk. It's like he was trying to argue with me and of course he was defending the postal carriers. I was so pissed! I finally told him I want to lodge a formal complaint and filled out the paper work to do so. Don't think he was happy, but neither was I.

I also told him about two packages shipped within the US that I haven't received. One was shipped about a month ago and the other three weeks ago. Both packages are from the same person and I've never had trouble getting mail from this person before. I was told they can't do anything about that if there was no tracking number on it and since it didn't come from their post office. Still, that didn't stop me from adding it to my complaint. You'd think with as much business as I give these people they'd be more courteous. I am so not happy with that place. I wish there was another post office around here.

Went to the store also to do some shopping. I'm trying to find pumpkins for the bonfire/pumpkin carving Fest next weekend at my sisters, but I'm not paying $5 for a medium sized pumpkin. Almost bought the newest NickelBack CD, but decided to wait. Came home and had some hot chocolate. Perfect weather for that and cookies. :)

I'm so tired today I think I could literally fall asleep in this chair. Not to mention my cramps are rearing their ugly head yet again and I want to rip my damn uterus out. I have no idea why cramps are so damn bad this month, but I've had enough of this.

I woke up around 11 this morning and made breakfast, then showered. My dad had another doctors appointment with his urologist this afternoon. Yesterdays appointment didn't go quite as expected. He/I forgot his paper work at home from when he was in the hospital, so his urologist didn't feel he could take the cath out without knowing that info. I felt so stupid for not thinking about taking that paper work in and I think my dad was a bit disappointed at not having that darn cath removed. His doctor did a general check over on my dad and that seemed okay. His doctor told him he could remove the cath tomorrow morning at home and then drink lots of fluids to see if he can go on his own.

So this morning my dad took his cath out and drank tons of water and was able to go to the bathroom. Yay! We went back to t urologist this afternoon and he checked his levels and everything and said things looked okay. He gave a prescription for more Flomax (a prostate medication) and he's to make a follow up appointment in six months. I'm so glad things are going good. I was really afraid they wouldn't, but now I can relax a little.

Oh my God...I thought they'd never leave. I probably shouldn't have been sitting there wishing my sister and her kids would fucking leave, but I was. Not that I was pissed at her, but they stayed for five hours. Amelia was super wound up the last two hours and Delaney kept crying. I was going nuts. I had to leave the room and just get away for a few. I went upstairs, smoked a cigarette and listened to Kings and Queens. I so didn't want to go back downstairs.

Normally, I'm not wishing they'd get the hell out when they visit, but today has not been so good. I couldn't sleep last night and only got about two and half hours of sleep, plus I started my period this morning and the cramps are killing me. So I'm cranky, crampy and tired. Then my sister, while not jumping on me, used that tone a mother would with a child when she saw that I hadn't recorded dad's blood sugar level for last night. Yes, I forgot, so fucking sue me. I forgot ONE time. That made my mood worse. Then she starts cooking dinner at 3:00. o.O I'm not kidding. She started cooking dinner for my dad and I. Usually we don't eat until later in the evening. So, I'm sitting there thinking what the hell has possessed her to start cooking that early? I felt like she was saying some roundabout way that I wouldn't cook which is total bullshit. I've been cooking twice a day for over a week now. Again, that made me more cranky.

Just ugh. So glad they're gone. I would nap, but then I know I'd sleep straight through til like two or three AM. Blah.

This is seriously shaping up to not be my day. I went out to feed the cats and dog. Their food is kept on the back patio and from there I go out the door to feed them. The cats always start clammering at the door when they hear me getting the food. Well, today as I went out the patio door, I accidentally stepped on one of the cats. Said cat was not happy and squeeled at me and either clawed or bit me on my toe. I think it must have clawed me because when I looked at it looked like a claw mark and it hurt like a mother fucker. I went inside and washed it and put something on it. It still hurts a little. From now on I will not be going out the patio door to feed them.

Then there's dinner, which I royally screwed up. I made round steaks, mixed vegetables (my dad's favorite), creamed corn and biscuits. Well, I put the temp on the mixed vegetables too high and nearly ruined them. I managed to salvage them mostly. Then when I took the steaks out of the oven I sat them on top of the oven, so I could put the biscuits in. What I failed to realize was that I had left the burner on that I'd been cooking the mixed vegetables on. I think you can guess what happen. The steaks ended up cooking more obviously and getting tough, over-cooked and some where even burnt. I was not happy. I felt like crying and throwing in the towel. Dad said dinner was good, but I think he was just being nice. I'm disappointed in myself. I should have never left the kitchen and should know to check to make sure all burners are turned off.

Sometimes I think most of us fail to stop and appreciate how good we have it. It's so easy to focus on the negative, the bad, the things that go wrong, the past, our mistakes and our wants vs our needs. I put myself right in that category. I have been very selfish at times, self-centered and ungrateful at times. I'm not perfect, but I want to be better. I want those around me to know how much I appreciate them and all they do for me. I want to leave a more positive mark on them and the world.

Today I've been really tired all day long. I made dinner which consisted of meatloaf, peas, corn and tomoatos. It was pretty good. I've eaten dinner at the dining room table with my dad the last three days. I can't even remember the last time I did that. I'm thankful to be spending so much time with him. It makes me feel good and I think it does him good as well.

Okay, so I finally have some time to sit down, breath and write about this weekend and this week so far. I wrote earlier about having my friends wedding on Friday and our family reunion in Kentucky on Saturday. My friends wedding was meh. I didn't want to be there and I'm aware that colored my view of everything. The ceremony was outside and it was freezing. It was a simple ceremony and Lee looked beautiful. After wards at the reception I felt completely out of place. I knew no one at there except my sister and her husband and Lee and her mother. Lee and her husband never came to our side of the hall. At all. In fact Lee didn't talk to us at all until we'd been at the reception a good 2 1/2 to 3 hours, and only then because Shari stopped to talk to her when we were going outside to get some fresh air. So I had to talk to her and she had to talk to us. I can't for the life of me understand why she never came to our side of the hall to visit with and talk to those people, let alone why she never sought out Shari and I to talk to us. It just solidifies in my mind that she and I have no real friendship.
( the longest weekend )

So I've had a pretty good day. I'm so hyped up because my favorite band 30 Seconds to Mars released a teaser snippet of their first single, 'Kings & Queens' today!! It sounds amazing!! I can't stop listening. lol I want more! The single comes out on Oct. 6th and the new album comes out on Nov. 23rd. I can't wait!!

Then I found out I won the hangman game on my swapping site. Woohoo! I guessed the correct answer with only one letter guess! I get a prize and get to host the next round. I never win forum games, so it's pretty cool that I won this one. I also worked on my collage journal for a couple hours. I'm having so much fun with the different collages and found items.

My back is doing better today. I could actually walk around without hobbling. Bonus! I called my sister to borrow some dress shoes for my friends wedding on Friday. I don't even want to go. My friend never got back to me regarding needing to talk to her about our friendship and concerns I have, but get this. I thought I had sent in the RSVP, but I was wrong. Found it sitting with the invitation on the entertainment center. Whoops. So I emailed her (because calling her is now pointless to me) to let her know that I hadn't sent the RSVP back. It was one of those where you had to check off whether you wanted chicken, steak or salmon to eat at the reception. Anyway, she got back to me about that the next day. Yes, the next day. Fuck, the email I sent about us needing to talk and our friendship, but let's jump right on the email about whether or not I can eat at the reception. *shakes head* I don't get her. I really, really don't.

I woke up today and my back was hurting even more. Seriously, I can't walk without it hurting. I had to go to the store and that wasn't fun. At all. I was hobbling around like a little old lady. Ugh. I don't know why it acts up like this every once in a while, but now is not the time for this. I have my friends wedding on Friday and a family reunion on Saturday. I'm not a happy camper. It's better when I'm sitting, but standing and walking not so good. Is it too much to hope that this will go away in the next few days??

So the good news is that supposedly the new single, 'Kings and Queens' by 30 Seconds to Mars is going to radio October 6th and itunes October 13th. I think it may too much to expect the sucktastic radio stations around here to play it that early. At least I can have my friend get it on itunes for me.

Last, but not least...At the store there was this guy who had been at the cash register next to me and paid for his stuff before me. After I paid for my stuff I turned to leave and was walking slow because of my back. I was surprised to see this guy that had been next to me, standing there holding the door open for me until I walked out. I smiled at him and thanked him. And then, he actually looked me in the eye, smiled back and said you're welcome. More often than not if someone does hold open the door for me (a lot of people don't) and I thank them they say nothing and don't even look at me. It was nice to see someone who was courteous and had some manners.

It's been a busy and productive day. I spent the late morning and afternoon cleaning. Everything is done except the bathroom, which will have to wait until tomorrow. I went with dad to the grocery store after all the cleaning. No sweets or junk food was bought. Yay for us! Although I was very tempted to get some Twinkies. Dad's sugar has been up, so we're trying to cut back on such things and eat a little better. Ugh, it's hard.

Came home and put away the groceries, then went to work on figuring out the RCA universal remote my dad bought. The remote for his TV completely died a couple weeks. I don't know why they have to make the things so complicated and the directions as well. I read them over three times before I understood how to do step 1!! After that I got the hang of things and things went relatively smooth. I now consider myself an expert. LOL

After that I made soup and grilled cheese for dinner. Yummy. I'm off for now. Ciao.

I went to the local state park with my sister and nieces today. It was such a beautiful day. I spied some leaves just starting to change colors. Yesss, fall is on it's way. This is my favorite time of the year. I love it. Anyway, we went to the nature center and got to pet and hold a rabbit and wee little turtle. It was so cute. They also have snakes, an owl, a couple eagles (outside of course. They're injured. :/), deer, bugs and some sort of lizard looking thing, but I can't remember what it's called. Amelia was so excited by everything and her eyes kept going wide. It was so cute.

After we left the nature center we went down by the lake and sat at a picnic table and had lunch. There were lots of boats out and Amelia asked if she could go out on one. haha After we ate, we walked around and then left and I came home and showered. That's when I realized I had left my purse at my sisters and had to drive back over there to get it. Ended up staying there a couple of hours, then came back home.

I still haven't contacted my friend about her wedding and my other concerns. I've been trying to write something out, but then I get annoyed and end up erasing it all. I'll call or email her tomorrow at the latest. I know it's time to say something to her.

Unbelievable. You email to ask me if I'm coming to your wedding, then say I better. Really?? And then say maybe we can have coffee next week in the evening? God, if I had a nickel for every time you said that to me or suggested we meet up I'd be a fucking millionaire. The RSVP went out in today's mail, so I'll be there. Not that I particularly want to, but heaven forbid your feelings get hurt if I don't go because we're supposedly friends. Only I don't think you know what friendship is. I don't think you'd know what it was if it were a snake and it bit you on the ass. See, my friends don't ignore me for nearly a year. Did you happen to hear any of the numerous voice mails I've left you over the last eleven months and just choose to ignore them? Did you forget that I existed? Or what? I found out through my sister that you were getting married. You didn't even call me to tell me that. You still haven't called me about it. I can't say I know many people who would leave someone out they call one of their "best friends" out of such happy news and a happy time. Yet you did. Thanks.

It might not be so bad if this hadn't been your pattern for at least six or seven years, if not more. Always seeming to have time for everything, but not our friendship. I'd suggest we meet for coffee, dinner, a drink or just to hang out and talk. Most of the time you would cancel or say we'll see. And then I'd never hear from you. It was always something. I realize everyone gets busy and shit comes up, but come on. I see you maybe once a year. Either when we bake cookies for Christmas (that's only been the last 3 years) or on my birthday - if you decided to come to the celebration. I'm tired of making all the effort in a friendship that it seems like you don't give a shit about.

I don't need anyone pointing out to me about how weddings are a busy stressful time and take a lot of planning and time. I know they are. I helped my sister plan hers. Somehow though she didn't exclude her friends during that time. I just feel so hurt that she would email, rather than try and call me. I feel like I don't matter. I've felt that way for a long time. I'm about to the point where I don't care anymore. This was the last straw.